when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.
i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so hard i am a 16 year old girl this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
Favorite quotes from The Fault In Our Stars by John Green
“The leg kick before a female starts to twerk symbolizes the shackles of 400 years of slavery and oppression being broken. God bless America”
he even has the bow tie
HIS FIRST NAME IS WILLIAM, MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE
Fun Fact: Bill is short for William
THESE ARE THE AGES OF THE DISNEY PRINCESSES AND YOUR LIFE IS A LIE
And to think, a guy kissed a unconscious/comatose 14 year old.
thats a little bit shady
reasons to date me:
-i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes
-ive never killed a man (yet)
-i once got 95% on guitar hero
-you can play with my hair
-im cheaper than a puppy